Week # 6: “Manage Your Defence Triggers”
Hi Friends,
Welcome Back!
How often do you feel yourself knee-jerking into an angry place at work or at home? If it’s frequent it may just be, that you’re experiencing an over-protective ego.
“Our ego, or sense of self-worth, in its healthy form is a great tool. It serves as a sensor. It’s the guidance system that alerts us when our sense of personal value has been threatened or when a particular line has been crossed. We all know the signs: speedy heartbeat, sweaty palms, hot face, stomachache, or perhaps tears. The ego gives us our cue to move into protection mode and it can serve us well.
Sometimes however, being the complex system of thought patterns, memories of past hurts, and triggers that it is, our ego can become excessively protective in particular areas. Instead of remaining on alert until required, an over-protective ego constantly scans the horizon, looking for trouble and making it difficult for us to trust and relax.” (Excerpt from “Coach Yourself” a 7-Step Guide to Personal Fulfilment, Muffy Churches 2016)
Following are some tips for dealing with situations or people that trigger your defensive response.
What can I Try?
ANTICIPATE
- Scan your day in the morning
- What is your day like: Who will you be interacting with and under what circumstances?
IDENTIFY PERCEIVED THREATS
- What are the anticipated situations that might trigger you? (Being ready for them means your emotional reaction will be lessened and you’ll have a better chance to respond calmly in the moment)
- Take a moment to work out, why this person or situation tends to bother you
USE EQ (Emotional Intelligence)
- Choose to shift you thinking on the topic- create a new mind-set around the person or event that has a more positive spin
- Focus on ‘curiosity’ or ‘empathy’ when you meet with them. (This will distract you from your old default defensiveness)
Practice this all week and ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE!
Once again, I’m thrilled you’re joining me for the 7-Week Challenge, to
LOVE Work, LOVE Life. Only 1 Week to go!
I’d love to know what you’re experiencing, so send a note to me at muffy@muffychurches.com
Power on!
See you next week for final Challenge #7
Muffy
